She Pondered These Things In Her Heart To Be Free

Without our free consent, God can work no good thing in us or through us. We must want him to act.

But these days I am scandalized by freedom. My almost-grown children are often choosing things that I do not like. When my son recently talked of dropping out of college, anger rose quickly within me. This  was not what I wanted!

I was stymied by his freedom. When I went to my husband, the problem was compounded. He did not seem to have a problem with my son’s choice. Here it was again-freedom!

I had to fall back and regroup. God does nothing in vain, I thought. What was he showing me? I thought of the children when they were all still little. They were like my garden of springtime flowers – delicate violets, sweet yellow crocuses – easy to care for and joy to behold.

Now, in their teens and twenties, they seemed more like towering trees: growing rapidly, spreading wildly, threatening to overtake the sky with their leaves, to shift boulders with their searching roots. What could I do? Should I hack at those branches? Could I wrestle those roots?

My heart, I suddenly knew, was like the rock beneath them. And those root tips were probing for  my cracks. I must yield, I thought.

No, I corrected myself, I could yield. I am free, too.

– Lisa Lickona, Editor, Magnificat